How to handle haters in a mature way

“Haters gonna hate!”

“I am not affected by them! Let them burrrnnn!”

The fact is that we pretend to be unaffected by haters and the negativity they bring. But in reality, they do affect us, even though it is in a very small way.

It gets really uncomfortable if you have to face them every day. In these uncomfortable times, you have to be strong enough to not let all the hate affect you. How?

1. Being civil and even friendly and cheerful with them – and not out of purpose, but out of genuine enjoyment.

Being civil in the face of hate requires grace. If you are in a civil environment, go ahead and mingle with your haters. Joke around and laugh with them.

Leave them confused. Haters feed on your reactions.

If you are happy and unaffected, the haters do not have any material to feed on.

2. Never ever let their hate get to you. Smile. That usually gets to them.

Even if you do not react, hate affects us all. But smiling through the day is an effective counter. Because you smiling gets to your haters – brutally.

“How is he/she still smiling after all the shit I have given him/her?!” 

3. Unless approached, ignore them during the day.

You really do not need that kind of hate. Unless you are cooped with them in a closed space like a classroom or an office, ignore them – all the time.

4. When haters say something, take the criticism seriously, and not personally.

If you have a heart big enough to listen and digest something bad about yourself, listen to your haters carefully.

In all the irrational hatred, you might find a nugget or two of wisdom that can help you improve yourself.

5. After you get hate, always give it 10 minutes before reacting to it or thinking about it.

The default reaction after receiving hate will always be anger. Instead, wait for 10 minutes. Count to a 100 – slowly.

And then think about it.

If you require longer to calm down, sleep over it.

6. Unless you find any flaw, you keep living like you have been. Don’t change just because they expect you to.

And if you find any flaw in yourself, no matter how small, improve on it.

Sometimes, the hate is not hate. It might be healthy criticism. If you have an ego small enough to take the criticism, improve.

7. Remember that most haters seek attention too. Don’t give them any.

Acknowledging their presence is fine. Mingling is fine. But stay aloof. Do not feed them any attention. 

8. If the hate gets too strong, pretend that you do not understand anything.

Playing dumb also works well. Better than ignoring or smiling even!

9. Also remember, trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.

That means hate is actually a sign that the work you do is getting to a large scale of population. 

10. Shake it off quickly and do not brood over it.

There is a time and place for everything. And there is always a time to let it go. Do not ponder over silly things forever.

Your overthinking is your haters’ biggest ally.

Always remember, you and you alone are in charge of your future. Haters are not significant in the outcomes. They will be only if you give them the power to be.